Call The ASPCA! 911, Cat in danger! :)

QUICK! Someone call the ASPCA! One of the dorks is suffocating my buddy Chai.
(No cats were harmed in this photo, but we can't same the same for the dork. She better watch out for paybacks)

First Day of Summer

Everyday should be the first day of something.  First day of mouse catching, first day of marathon napping, the first day of laying in your favorite sunbeam!

Here's my buddy and accomplice #1, Chai. He jumped on the bed and took over the sunbeam from the dork.  Cats Rule!

Hip Hop Frankie - Rap Cat Music Video

Some cools cats passed this video along to me and it made me think... If a cat hand puppet could get over 3 million views then surely a REAL cat like yours truly could do even better! So I broke into the humans recording studio to flex the golden pipes!

Hey! There's a reason they call me Frankie, it's because I sing like Frank Sinatra :)

Anyway, the media got wind of the fact that I was recording. The paparazzi showed up and went wild!
I had to close the recording session to the public. I may have inadvertently roughed up a camera man or two while trying to kick them out. :)  (This is when it's handy to have a dork dog around to do your dirty work)

Oops, did you need that 1000 dollar camera lens?  Meowahahahaha  :)

The Two Sides of Frankie

Even in a single picture, you see how I can be soft, cute and cuddly... THEN you see the sun sparkle of my finely sharpened claw :)

I just know it's going to be one of those days where I will need the use of both my sides. wink*

Allie The Wonder Dork & Crashed Out Humans

Now that the humans have sent the offspring to college, I have more room to lounge around. I've taken over the offspring's bedroom and I find her bed a bit to soft for my liking. I will need to discuss this with the humans and have them correct this ASAP.

The video above is of the goofy dork they call Allie. I don't understand what would make an animal act so silly. At least when I act silly, I have a motive behind it. Such as getting them to bring out more treats!

Fyi - I'm silly only 15% of the time. The remaining time is split up as 75% grumpy and 10% DON'T MESS WITH ME!

So now with one of the humans gone, I don't have to tip-toe over the sugar buzzed out kids that are always crashed out in my living room.

Neber neber ick ahn ice kold wahta bol

The title says it all. Thats all I could say at the time. Stupid humans for spoiling the stupid dorks with ICE CUBES in their water bowl. A METAL one! (Never never lick an ice cold water bowl)

I claim this dork bowl in the name of the CAT!

All I need is a NAME!

All I need is the name of the human who made this video. Let me and a few of the boys take care of the rest. NO questions asked. No need for a swimsuit when this guy goes swimming with da fishies.

The Cat Manifesto

Chai the Cat has been assigned the task of creating the Cat Manifesto. It's going to be our detailed plan on feline world dominance and how the canine world will cower under the pressure of cat control.

We have but one problem... It's very difficult to write a 500 page manifesto if you take 24 naps every day. I would just make one of the dorks type this out but all they can spell is arroowwww, aruff, bow wow and woof.

Beware! Cat Sleeping

 So there I was, sleeping like a kitten and dreaming of catnip and a world free of Dorks. (Remember rule #2, the word "dog" shall be replaced with the word "dork")

Just around the time in my dream when I was reaching catnip nirvana, I was abruptly awoken with the two dorks running around the living room and making so much noise that even a deaf cat could hear. They act like the humans are gods or that they always have an endless supply of treats in their pockets. Even when the humans go to the store and return TEN minutes later , they act as if they were gone for a year and get all excited just to have the humans back. Stupid dorks.

So to get even with them for taking me away from my dream right at the moment of true bliss... I did the following.

BEFORE - The dorks sitting in the living room.

AFTER - The dorks outside in the rain after I locked the door.

Meowhahahahahahaha (Evil cat laugh)

One Lump or Two

My fellow feline always requests TWO squares of sugar. The humans only put ONE in this morning and now I have to deal with this look all day long. Once he's in a bad mood, it takes raw meat to calm his inner lion. 

Morning Haiku by Frankie The Cat

Cats Rule and Dogs Drool

Hello, my name is Frankie. You may call me Mr. Frankie or Frankie The Cat. I'm here to set a few things straight about the world as we know it. You know, the feline world and the earth that we are here to rule. I understand some of you may be skeptical about my vision but I assure you that we have been planning and establishing checkpoints that will lead us to world dominance. Some of these checkpoints have been achieved and we are heading into the next phase... Animal Kingdom Control.

First and foremost, we are here to let the Canine species (Dogs, for you pups that may be reading this) know that we are the superior species and we will be setting up some rules for you to follow from here on out.

We need to establish a list of Cat Rules. These rules will apply to both Human and K9. Here are the first two rules that we will build off of.

Cat Rule #1 - We are the keepers of the humans, not the other way around.

Cat Rule #2 - From this day forward, The word "DOG" shall be replaced with the word "DORK"

Cats will be united all around the globe in this effort and this blog will be our calling cry for Feline Victory.

_______________

About Me

I'm an old & cranky cat most of the time. I have moments of cute, funny and playful. I play when I want, not when you want me to. If you piss me off, I might leave you a "Golden Nugget of Love" for you in your best pair of shoes.

Here is a list of characters that will be on this blogging journey along with me, their leader.

Accomplice #1 - Chai The Cat / You will rarely see him with his eyes open. He's in deep thought 20 hours out of the day.

Dork #1 - Tiko The Dork / What can I say, I make him do the dirty work.

Dork #2 - Allie The Dork / She's along for the comedic interlude, not much else.

I look forward to sharing with you some insights to the superior species and what happens in the daily life of a cranky cat. Now get out of here, and don't bother me until I meow for you!